Growing up, chores were an in-house job in my household. Eating out when you were capable of cooking, laundry service when you were capable of washing... was a waste of hard-earned money. That's how I was raised...you have two hands...do it yourself.

Now that I'm all old and have my own household to run and relationship to maintain...my, how the tides have turned. Both my husband and I work long hours. We're lucky if we spend a solid hour a day interacting with each other. And then comes those magical, rare weekends where we're actually both at home. And GUESS what those are often reserved for? Cleaning the house. A task (obviously) assigned to me because I lack the Y chromosome. (Stabby eye roll.)

Before I give you the false picture that I worked 16 hours a day and spent every other waking minute making sure that the house was spic and span, let's just be clear...our house fell into periods of time that I like to call "shitholiness." Self explanatory. As long as no one came over, it wasn't really a big deal. I'd do a big "clean sweep" every month and a half or so, and as long as no one came over, it was fine. But it took a toll on our relationship. I'd complain about the squalor we lived in (and that I created...my husband is quite tidy), and my husband would argue that he was doing his part to keep things as clean as possible, but it was hard to keep up with "Hurricane Cathy."

Some of you are thinking, "clean up your act," and some of you are thinking, "get a maid and STFU already." If only either decision were so easy. My amazing, equally hard-working girlfriends planted the seed in my head a while back that we needed to get a housecleaning service. Because if it takes 2 professionals 3 hours to clean my loft, it probably takes me 6 hours. And what are those 6 hours worth to me? At a time in my life where I work my ASS off? I don't know why, but I never, EVER looked at it that way. Paying someone to do a task that I'm fully capable of doing seemed ridiculous.

The "aha" moment for me was understanding the difference between paying people to do things you can physically do and paying people to complete tasks that give you TIME in your life to spend with the people you love, doing the things you love, is what makes it "worth it." EVEN IF doing nothing counts as doing something you love. What we pay people to do tasks we are sometimes capable of doing on our own, we earn in TIME. For our friends. For our family. Which, lately, is more scarce than any other resource...in my household, at least.

I think things like this---paying for services---is a huge, primary difference in how I live my life now and how I was raised. I think my husband and I both feel a lot of "shame" in paying for some things...eating out on weekdays when we're too tired to cook, housecleaning...even paying for a car wash here and there. No matter how much you tell either of us that you're buying time for YOU---for your relationship, your life, your freedom...it's still something that one of us (sometimes me, sometimes him) will have a hard time coming to terms with. My husband never gave me the "OK" to call a cleaning service. I just ended up doing it on my own accord. And I don't regret it, for a moment...but the guilt will always be there. It's just how we were raised.

Now that you're running your own household, what's a service that you and your SO have argued over paying for? Did you ever come to an agreement on it?

What a year, friends. What a crazy beautiful year. 

It's pretty socially acceptable, in the blog world, to blog about your challenges. Readers and friends rally around you, sympathize, tell you that there's going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and so on. We get sort of a satisfaction out of realizing that not only are our lives hard, but others out there are experiencing challenges, too. Relationship, career, family. Illness, failures, triumph over adversity.

This year has been a wonderful one for me, as a whole. And so, I didn't feel like I ever had much to write about. Because sometimes I read about people, with their wonderfully content lives, and I think, "well, I don't give a shit about your perfect effing life."

But here I am. At the end of a wonderful 2011, reflecting on the amazing year that it was.

I was in spin class last Saturday and at the end we stretched to the sky and our instructor asked us to make a wish as we reached up. Since this is a "reflection" post, let's reflect upon the fact that if December 2010 me was reading this post, she would laugh at the idea that December 2011 me goes to the gym, let alone on a SATURDAY. Anyyyyway, I wished for the first thing that came to mind:

I wished for snow in Minnesota this Christmas.*

And so, sums up a wonderful year. Because with everything anyone could possibly want, I wished for snow, something so ridiculously frivolous and small. Because I have everything I need: a beautiful family, my health, happiness, and love in my heart. 2011 was a highly satisfying year, and if I could hope for anything in 2012, it's that it's as wonderful as 2011.

My family is healthy.

Thanksgiving 2011

I traveled the country.

New Orleans

I turned 30, and 9 of my nearest and dearest joined me on an adventure in paradise.

Tulum 2011

I lost 20 pounds.

me via Elizabeth Messina, August 2011

I was presented with amazing new career opportunities, and continue to love working in the world wide web of weddings.

Jackie of Merci New York, me, Amanda of Ruffled Blog, Christy of Junebug Weddings, and Vane of Brooklyn Bride at the Claire Pettibone Runway Show

2011 marked my 10th Christmas with my amazing husband, the man who has supported me and enabled my dreams for my entire adult life.

“Smile Everyone” Christmas Card via Minted

And so concludes a healthy and happy year. Cheers to 2012, and continued happiness to you and yours in the new year! xx

*no such luck. Well, you can't have everything, can you? :)

I wasn't going to write a post about my birthday today because it'd just be a shameless grab for you to wish me a happy birthday.

But you know what? I'M FREAKING 30! SO WHAT WHO CARES! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

~~~

When I graduated from college my dad made me sit down and write out my goals for the year, the next 5 years, the next 10 years. I think I sat around and picked my earwax for 30 minutes and then forgot all about setting any goals.

Then, I joined the blogging community specifically to become a blogger for Weddingbee, and lots of bloggers kept a running "30 by 30" list where they'd create a bucket list of things to do before they turned 30. I always meant to start one as well (LOVE seeing people check things off their list. I love lists.) but didn't. Thank gorsh, because I would have probably checked nothing off. Or maybe everything off? Who knows, this list does not exist.

Living life without a concrete plan seems to have worked for me in my 20s. I always feel like I'm being left behind not being traditionally goal oriented, but I took the time last night to step back and really evaluate my goals. And I realize I have them. They may be loose, they may be vague, but they've always been there.

Be better than you were yesterday. Everything you did yesterday, do them today, just better.

I think I did OK in the last 10 years. Here's to the next decade of moving upwards and onwards, one baby step at a time.

30. Time to get serious about skincare, I guess.

xo

Edit: One thing I am not looking forward to: saggy tits. It's already starting...